Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
