oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Shame is for Republicans.
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