I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can text with my tongue
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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