dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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