Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
