Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The struggles of a small town man whore
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
