I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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