i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
