Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
