end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
