so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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