Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
