awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
