come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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