i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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