garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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