Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
