i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
