After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
