My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
