Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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