Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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