Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
