I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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