considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just high enough for therapy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
