new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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