In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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