who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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