Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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