i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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