Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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