that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
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I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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