one might say we're banned from that church
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
