i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
