Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
