did you get engaged???
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
