Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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