If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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