She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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