I CAN MOONWALK!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
