Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
