Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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