Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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