you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
