Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
