Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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