bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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