Will you blow on my dice?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
