Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will be naked everywhere
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
