You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
