im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Randomize
