I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
