i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
