omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
