Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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