yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize