So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
