You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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