I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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