I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
