There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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