Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
