"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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