Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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