that's an acceptable place to lick
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
