I think I died a long time ago.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You've changed since you got that strap on
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
