and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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