Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This is classic penis vs brain.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I want is dick and wine.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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