omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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