its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
